Stymied and Depressed

Can’t sleep. Have to be up early in the morning (this morning, Friday) and I can’t sleep. I would have thought to be over the mad. The hurt. The soul breaking pain. But I’m not. Some may think that’s over dramatic.  Hear me out.

Late Wednesday evening, the pager and fire siren went off. Small grass fire east of town. I pulled my old nomex on, nomex flight jacket, and nomex coveralls on (it was cold), and caught a ride out to the site.

1 of 3 Piles starting grass fire

1 of 3 Piles starting grass fire

A site that made my heart drop. Grass, what was left of it, had been ignited from blowing embers from 1, 2 or all 3 large piles of burning logs. They’d banked the dirt up pretty high, as they couldn’t dig a hole deep enough I suppose because it was in a low spot. A drainage. Double dagger. Now it was dark, and I can’t be positive they were all down, but in all probability if they weren’t then, they are now.

Trees are gone

2 acres of trees destroyed and burned here

2 acres of trees destroyed and burned here

Roughly 2 acres of mature, lovely, beauty holding, air cleaning, soil holding trees. Gone. Destroyed. Wasted.

But it was back at the fire hall that I heard the last bit of info that leaves me stymied and depressed.

It was who owned the ground and had shattered my soul. Friends of ours. They had just bought this ground. The next day dozers were on site. You don’t just call someone up, that is planned way in advance.

Short memory

What shattered my soul about that? The same friends five years ago cleared out 200+ trees around an old homestead and dozed the house into a hole, burned and buried it all. (Common practice around here that baffles me yet.) I had a discussion with them then about how the trees could have been utilized. In fact, Gerald and I about broke our backs, and he did injure his hand, saving 48 out of 83 of one leg of tall straight lovely cedar trees using 2 chainsaws, a pickup and a log chain.

That’s as much as we could get before the dozer was finished with step one (house) and ready to destroy the trees. Yes, we were told we could get what we could if we didn’t slow him down. We found out about the clearing the day the dozer arrived on site.  That’s how we always find out – the day or day after they start destruction.

Depression will linger, so will the mad. If friends don’t hear and retain what I’ve discussed with them, how will strangers? Does it go back to the “you’re not an expert unless you’re 25 miles from home”?

But beyond that depression will linger until I have the equipment that I can safely and efficiently stay ahead of the dozers. But you know, they could have asked. I don’t want to compete with the dozer businesses to destroy, but save the spoils. Utilize the carbon as beautiful, functional items that give the trees a second life.

Know a tree coming down? Let’s craft a dream.

(Maybe now I can sleep, thanks for listening to me vent.)

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